There’s a saying that you shouldn’t marry someone if you haven’t seen them with a slow internet connection. Ha! It’s weird, we know. But isn’t the accuracy uncanny? Slow internet connection can indeed awaken the Mr. Hyde in all of us.
But that’s not the point we want to make today. The point is that you shouldn’t marry someone you have never seen angry. Anger can change people into a whole other person entirely. And marriage is filled with random occasions that can drive us into anger. But when you know what is the common trigger, how to contain it or how to work it out, it will be useful later in your married life.
1. Know what makes him angry
Random occasions can cause someone to lose it, but even those occasions share a common denominator. Could it be impatience? Could it be something he’s sensitive about, like something that happened in the past? Could it be words that have hurt him before? The best way to know about his discontent is to get to know him. Find out what drives him up the wall, but don’t fabricate it just because. It might not have the pretty ending you hoped for.
2. Know his anger behavior
Anger can turn someone into a whole other person. Does he become quiet suddenly? Or does he lash out like explosives? Get to know him and find out. Then ask yourself the more important question: can you accept and handle his anger behavior?
3. Know how to calm him down
So let’s say that you already know how he is when he’s angry. Do you know how to help him get over his anger? Does he prefer to be left alone and internalize the problem in his lonesome? Or does he need to vent and let his feelings out? Does he want you to remain silent until he sparks up the conversation? Or does he need you to tease him and lift up his mood? Find out and know how to help him get over it.
Addressing issues like anger is a part of getting to know someone. It’s just as important as knowing what he likes. And then what’s more important is to find out if you’re able to accept that fact for the rest of your life.