In the midst of planning our wedding day, it can be very easy to get caught up in the pre-wedding stress. We spend a lot of time, effort and energy in making sure that everything goes smoothly during that one special day. In fact a lot of us spend so much time thinking and worrying about the wedding day that we do not really make time to think about the marriage itself.
What we have found is that couples who do not invest their time and energy preparing for the marriage is more likely to have turbulence after the wedding day is over. Our advice to couples who are now engaged and heading towards the big day is to make sure you spend as much if not more time and energy thinking and talking about the marriage that you want to have together.
Here are a few things (not limited to), which you and your partner must discuss before the wedding day comes:
Finance: Have you talked about how you will manage the finance together? Will there only be one of you working or will the both of you be bringing home the money? And if so, how will you decide who will be responsible for what financially?
Household responsibilities: Have you discussed who will be responsible for certain chores around the house? Will the responsibilities be split up or will one do most of the work than the other? This is a very important subject because couples often have arguments over this due to lack of communication.
Parenting: Are children in the picture for the both of you? If so, have you talked about how many children you both would like to have, how you would like to parent and the expectations you may have of your partner as a parent? It is never too early in the engagement to talk about children if that is what you both want, you might even be surprised at some of your partner’s answers.
The in laws: When you marry someone, you don’t just marry the person, you also marry their family. Have you talked about how you will split the time you spend with your family and your spouse’s family? What sort of relationship would you like to have with your in laws and vice versa?
How to get the sparks going: All the above subjects are important and should be discussed regularly, however do not forget about the relationship and love that you both must nurture together. Have you guys talked about how you will both try to maintain the sparks in the relationship? Will there be regular date nights? Will there be anniversary celebrations? How will you work on making sure your partner feels appreciated and loved?
There are only a few pointers that may help you and your partner get your discussion on marriage going. There are a lot more things you both could talk about that are relevant to your relationship and we would encourage you to explore those subjects also. These conversations must be talked about on a regular basis before the wedding day because if any issues pop up you both will still have time to hash it out and find a solution before the marriage begins. At the end of the day, if we are willing to prepare a lot for our wedding day, then what excuse do we have on not preparing for the marriage? Goodluck!