Every single one of us has experienced jealousy at one point or another. It is a feeling that is perfectly normal to have. However, when your partner no longer trusts you, so much so that he begins to invade your privacy, and when he no longer believes any word that comes out of you, then this jealousy becomes an issue that you must work on together. 

One of the first questions you should ask yourself is whether you have given your partner something to be jealous of. If there is absolutely no reason for your partner to feel threatened in any way, and he still has trust issues, then the next step is to talk about where this jealousy came from. Have a one-to-one conversation with him about what it is that causes him to doubt your commitment to the relationship. Has he been cheated on before in the past or did he grow up around marriages that did not last because of infidelity? There is always a reason why people believe what they believe – find out where your partner’s real reason lies and work from there.

Secondly, it is important to understand if your partner’s jealousy is a result of fear: fear of losing you as a partner, or fear of not knowing whether you love him or not. With this in mind, whenever your partner comes to you and talks about how jealous or how upset he feels, give him reassurance, instead of running away or questioning his thoughts and feelings. Let him know that everything is all right and that there is nothing to be concerned about. Knowing that you see the real reason your partner gets jealous will allow him to communicate from a more vulnerable place, which in return will clear out any misunderstandings.

Another way to help your partner overcome his jealousy is to make some agreements with him about practical things you can do to make him feel more safe and secure within the relationship. Every person’s needs vary, so get to know your partner’s needs when it comes to this. Be mindful that you don’t end up feeding their insecurities even more by doing every single thing they ask of you. Ask yourself if you will be bothered twenty years from today by what you need to do for him. If the answer is “yes”, you might want to think of another way out.

With every hardship, comes a lot of blessings. Helping your partner through a difficult time will serve the relationship well in the long run. So, love your partner in the good and in the bad. After all, that’s what commitment is all about.

Love,

Butterfly