When it comes to marriage, often times the focus is on the couple who is getting married; the relationship they have, the trust and the bond they have created together and so on. However, the truth is that when we marry our partners, we do not only marry them – we marry their family as well.
When it comes to the in laws, we often talk about how we can have better relationships with them, but in this article we would like to shed on light on our role as the bridge between our parents/family and our partner. We tend to forget that we have as much of an influence if not more on how well our partners and our families get along. We are after all the string that connects those two parties together, how we act and speak as that bridge will make or break the relationship they are trying to form as in laws. So, here are some tips and advice that we should be aware of in order to be the best bridge we possibly can be.
First and foremost, we need to understand and accept that the relationship between our partners and our parents are just as important as our marriage. Once we set their relationship as a priority as well, then we can begin to commit into helping them to form as best of a relationship as possible. When you are still in the dating phase it can seem quite trivial thinking about how important it is for your partner and family to get along, however, when you are married – any issues your partner has with your family or vice versa will feel like one of the heaviest burdens. If we do not take part of try to help them form a good relationship – it can sometimes take a toll on our marriage.
Secondly, because we know how important it is that our partners and our parents get along, we then need to understand our role in this whole equation, which is being the bridge between the two. This basically means that whatever we say to our partners about our parents and vice versa will influence their perception and opinions of each other. The problem is that often times we take for granted their feelings when we start opening up about issues about either party. If you and your partner have certain issues within the marriage, going to your parents and talking openly about it can sometimes do more damage than good. You can go from fighting with your partner and then making up again in an instance, whereas your parents having heard the issues you both have, may have some resentments. This goes both ways – when you and your parents have issues of your own.
Take into consideration the fact that these two parties may not understand each other as well as you do. Be aware that your words and the things you share with them might have a huge influence in forming the opinions they have of one another. If you do want to share some things, make sure to filter some details, which the other person might not appreciate hearing or at the very least take their feelings into consideration. It helps to be more aware and careful with the words we choose to use because we can either feed negativity or positivity into their relationship, so it is best to choose wisely.