Life will always give us challenges that we need to overcome in order to grow and be better. What defines a healthy relationship isn’t whether or not there are problems but it is whether or not you both have the ability to overcome those problems together. In order to make a relationship work and to actually be happy with your partner you both need to be committed to solving issues that come up, whether big or small. Sweeping issues under the rug will only create a mountain of problems you both will still have to face later on. And if there are still issues within the relationship that remains unresolved do not expect that by stepping into marriage those issues will somehow magically disappear. Before you both say the words ‘I do’ – make sure the two things below have been resolved as best as possible:
- Problems within the relationship:
It helps to discuss certain things within the relationship, which you both think need be worked on. Whether it has to do with trusting your partner more, communicating better with one another or giving each other more space. The point is to always come up with concrete solutions in order for that issue to not keep repeating itself. A lot of couples find themselves arguing about the same thing over and over again and they wonder why. It is often because they simply did not have a solution that had longevity in it. When you do have an argument – try to get down to the root cause of the problem. Because often times it isn’t really about what you are arguing at that moment – but about something deeper, which you have yet to communicate to your partner.
- Problems within yourself:
It isn’t enough to work on issues within the relationship without doing regular self-reflection. Often times the issues we have with our partners may stem from the issues we have within ourselves. If we feel insecure most of the time – we will automatically feel the need to seek validation from our partners. What that will only lead to however, is disappointment because no one should have the responsibility to make you happy. Happiness must come from us first and foremost, before anyone else. It isn’t your partner’s job to ‘fix’ you – but it is yours, your partner can only give his love and support. Work on yourself first and let it be a regular thing. The more you invest in loving yourself and making sure you are happy with yourself – the more you will be able to give to your partner and to the relationship.
Bumping into problems in your relationship is completely normal and a part of life. Solving problems right now does not mean that once you are married, there will be no more problems to solve. It just means that you both have developed the capability to overcome issues whether personal or between each other. And that will really take you a long way in marriage and will make the hurdles of the future much easier to handle.